Emporium Style: What to do When You Spend too Much on One Pair of Really Hot Boots

Fashion Emporium Editor — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 13:04:29 EST

Over the knee boots are the must-have footwear for fall. I'm not usually one to follow trends, but I've always loved high boots, and upon seeing these lace up 4inch heels, I immediately began incorporating them into my wardrobe while they were still just a photo online.

But $500 dollars seemed absurd to spend on just one pair of shoes. I waited for them to go on sale, visiting them daily as if they were my beloved Uncle Butch who is doing time at Rikers Island Penitentiary. I watched as my size disappeared. I Googled and searched and found them on one other site...that didn't have my size. Finally Saks announced their "friends and family sale" which I am neither of to at anyone at Saks, but turns out that anyone who will drop half a grand at the luxury retailer is considered both.

But I did not go gently into that good sales pitch. I calculated the discount with the free shipping. Still the leather bad ass boots were a whopping $400. I emailed everyone I knew for advice, even texting my sister who has a newborn baby and surely has more important things to contemplate:

"Hypothetically, there are these boots you want, you have no children or social life. They cost 400 dollars in real money...but they are on sale. You have just enough money in your checking account. You: a) borrow from your pittance of a savings account and buy them, b) you spend the money in your checking account and eat eggs for a month, c) are you out of your f*cking mind?"

She never sent me a text back with her answer.

I did it. I bought them. I had a panic attack afterwards, but nonetheless.

Fearing I blew a years budget on the high knee covering hotness, I came across The 2 Bandits adornments for your boots. If I'm going to have to wear the same boots everyday, for possibly for the rest of my life, its good to know I can change them up for not much cash! While some of the pieces are still a little pricey, the sale section and the online shop do offer cute styles for around $30.00.

Camel riders, photo: The 2 Bandits

Riders black and gold, photo: The 2 Bandits

Sunday, photo The 2 Bandits.

Click on these links below for more ways to style shoes you already have:

Absolutely Audrey

Litter SF

Emporium Style: Monopoly Fashion for Losers

Fashion Emporium Editor — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:10:04 EDT

The Monopoly World Championship was held last Thursday in Las Vegas. I don't get the infatuation with pretending to spend money on real estate I cant actually dwell in. Even the big beauty chain Sephora jumped on the bandwagon with others like Seinfeld and Reebok and came out with their own glammed up version of the board game.

Fox News announced the winner of the big Monopoly suck-fest as being 19 year old Bjorn Halvard Knappskog and reported the event in excruciatingly painful detail. (which may or may not be true given the source). Knappskog won $20,580 in real money for the title. Now go gamble that sum for real, you're a teenager in Vegas, for f*cks sake. Schmergen Blergen, Bjorn!

The losers, however, won a big fat sum of nothing dollars and zilch cents, which pretty much sums up my lifetime of playing the abusive business practice board game.

Hence, Fashion Funhouse Emporium gives you Monopoly Fashion for Losers.

Toilet Necklace, Fred Flare

When I'm forced to play this cardboard family bonanza of "fun," I just wear this necklace and remove the charm to swap out with any game piece. Why? because that's where all of my fun colored dollars go--right down the shitter.

LED Faceless Watch, 100%

I wear this faceless watch so I can't easily view how many hours of my life had been wasted shelling out fake money for fake bills. Why wear a watch at all you may ask? Simple, the time function displays when the button is pressed, which comes in handy if the game goes on to its fifth hour and I want to plot my own death by slitting my wrists with a luxury tax card. "Okay if this goes on for one more second...."

Coin Purse, Fred Flare

It's not my fault that I always lose. I blame lack of regulation and over zealous lenders. Why are you letting me buy B & O Railroad when I have barely enough cash to cover it? Duh, the only other thing I own on the entire board is Baltic Avenue! You'll only be getting my one rent by the hour motel as collateral.

Stripe Dress, Topshop

If I'm going to sit in jail through 4,000 of my turns, why not look cute while doing it?

Tee by Junk Food, Amazon

Some people buy fake Louis Vuitton, others just prefer to be more literal with dollar sign gold necklaces or cash money embellished hoodies. Consider this the Monopoly version. I don't got it, but I'm gonna flaunt it.