Fashion Funhouse Emporium

Its the Sunday Funhouse Comics!

Marc's Mark Lives On

Marc Jacobs designed a bag with a swastika and it's still on the market for only a little under $1500.

Earlier this year, several bloggers pointed out the Nazi symbol on another similar bag. After a quick Google search it seems that either Barney's sold out or had the sense to recall the bag. However its pure, master race brethren can still be bought out there in cyberspace.

In the past I asked if Marc Jacobs is deliberately trying to make us all squirm with the likes of hair Ugg boots and garbage bag totes. I'm guessing that this wasn't intentional? If it was, it seems that people are still willing to buy anything with the man's name on it.

Donkey Punch

Photo: Vman

Movieline - Shrek and friends posed for a photo shoot in VMAN magazine. Paramount Pictures says that the shoot did not turn out the way they'd hoped, adding if they knew that Donkey would be in a threesome, they would've never approved.

Perhaps someone at Paramount should've used that thing we call an internet search. Past pictures in the VMAN indie and provocative rag include many a young men in nothing but Euro-style skivvies. Which now that I think about it, totally makes sense to tie a children's movie into since the models are probably all under 18.

Don't you think its about time to stop coddling our children anyway? When your five year old asks, "Mom, what's a donkey punch?" Parents should be forth right. "Well honey, you know how Donkey and Shrek posed for dirty pictures in that magazine...."

Note: If you just can't stop yourself from looking the term up... you gotta love Wikipedia. Oh, and this is not safe for work. NSFW! or anytime for that matter.  I hope your naivety and childhood innocence isn't destroyed like mine was.

GETTIIN STICKY WITH IT!

Photo via Snark Food

Snark Food-  A teenager made her prom dress out of Wrigley's gum wrappers. Her date wore a matching vest.

An A+ for creativity. She has a career in advertising costume design ahead of her.

Though, I wonder how many of the popular girls tossed chewed gum in her hair while she was doing the Electric Slide? Its not funny at all. You know peanut butter, which is a vile, slimy food item, is the only substance that can grease out chewed rubber. Either that, or your mom has to cut a giant chunk of your hair off with kitchen shears. Oh, sorry. I was just reminiscing about how much fun my junior high dances were.

MOTHER NATURE SHAKES IT!

Heidi Montag: responsible for earthquakes in CA. via the Superficial

Associated Press - An Iranian cleric says that women who dress slutty are the reason for earthquakes. Seismologists disagree.

Does this explain why there are so many earthquakes in California? (East Coast 4-EVA!!)

Seriously though, telling women that tight pants and cleavage are the reason for violent eruptions of the earth's fault lines is like when mother's tell their sons that they will go blind if they play with "it". And according to trusty WikiAnswers, most men play a five finger solo once a day. You do the math.

BRAINS AND BEAUTY

Isaac Mizrahi: Plaid is the new cheescake.

Daily Front Row - Issac Mizrahi, fashion designer, will compete on Jeopardy.

A household name, the designer revived his luxury line, hosted many  talk shows, and wrote a series of comic books.  He's the god father of cheap-chic collaborations as the first to sign on with Target.  He created a line of cheescakes and blankets for QVC.

Is there anything this man can't do? All of his ventures may not of been successful, none the less, I will be sorely disappointed if he doesn't win this time!

It's the Sunday Comics

POKER FACE NO MORE

Photo: Ladygaga.com

MTV.com -- Lady Gaga released her video for Telephone this past week and the the entire internet has re-posted it.  Lady told MTV that the video is more about Beyonce and changing "what a visual product can be". That product? The mega-pop star, Bee, herself.

MTV says that Beyonce "fit in perfectly with the homages to the campy "Batman" series of the 1960s, Quentin Tarantino's "Kill Bill," Japanese manga, Salvador Dalí and Madonna that made the "Telephone" video an epic pop-culture adventure."

I said this blog is not about celebrities wearing stuff, but I have to do it. I have to talk about this video. Lady Gaga, your club kid music annoys me to no end. I swear if I hear "Poker Face" one more time, I'm going to run to the corner of whatever room I'm in, curl into a ball while covering my ears and just cry.

That said, you got me. I have wrote about you wearing Jean Castelbajac's Muppet creations, but that was a "story" assigned to me by my editor. This, however is my blog and I want  dwell in the sheer awesomeness that is the Haus of Gaga. Smoking cigarette glasses, telephone hair, trashy soda can hair accessories, the actual P*ssy Wagon from "Kill Bill"--- I long for a styling job that allows no holds barred, crazy-ass costume design. You've done it. I can't ignore you any longer.

See the video on MTV.com

REHAB: I SAID CLOTHES, CLOTHES CLOTHES!

Photo: WWD

WWD -Now on to celebrities making clothes. Amy Winehouse is pairing with British tennis player turned clothing maker, Fred Perry to create a fashion line.

Apparently, she thinks her vomit and beer stained dresses are coveted among the masses.

Why do actors and musicians who've wrecked their careers with substance abuse think that fashion is the next logical step? Lindsay Lohan went on to Emmanuel Ungaro (and then left), Chris Brown was cozying up to Gaultier and now this?

Is it that you think the fashion world is vapid and stupid enough to receive you? Vapid, maybe. Stupid, no. The business end knows what kind of publicity they will stir up for their brand. Geez, have none of you seen "The Devil Wears Prada?" Fashion invites you in, sadly, to watch you fall.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

THERE'S POO ON YOUR SHOE

Photo: High Snobette

High Snobette- A London-based artist and designer made a stiletto out of hardened elephant dookey.

You may remember when I covered moose crap necklaces on this blog. I simply don't understand the fascination playing with animal waste. Is this supposed to give us some sort of shock reaction? Because it doesn't. Toddlers have been known to pick up a dried dog turd while frolicking in their back yards. Does that make them artists?

Not only are the shoes made from sh*t, they look like they are made from, well, sh*t.  I don't know what's worse: the undigested vegetable matter or the neon print fabric. Gross.

BANANA INNUENDO

Photo: Aussiebum

Ecouterre- AussieBum, an Australian underwear maker has manufactured men's underwear made up of  27 percent banana fiber.  They say if they added a higher concentration of banana, the underwear would be "squishy."

All of the good jokes were covered in the original article such as giving "banana hammock a whole new meaning" and "G’day mate, is that a banana you’ve got down undah or are you just happy to see us?" and, " they don’t actually smell like bananas, so you won’t have to fend off snack-happy monkeys from your nethers" and last "We’d still keep our eyes peeled, though, if we were you."

I've got nothing.

BREAKING NEWS: TERRY IS A PERV

Photo: Uncle York

Huffington Post:  Model Jamie Peck says in an interview that Terry Richardson, famed "fashion" photographer whipped it out and "waggled" it during a photo shoot.

Yes, that's because he's Terry Richardson.

Expecting Terry not to show his junk at a photo shoot is like assuming that Amy Winehouse won't pass out on stage, or that Lady Gaga will wear khakis and a button down or that artists will stop using bodily functions to pass off as art.

I think I would be slightly disappointed if I worked with Terry and he didn't give me an autographed self portrait of his sac.  Thats a collectors item right there.

It's the Funhouse Comics

MAYBELLINE FOR MEN?

RuPaul, Photo via Austin Chronicle

Telegraph- A survey reveals that one in every ten men use their lady's make-up and products.  Tweezers are borrowed the most often, followed by moisturizers and then other miscellaneous beauty gadgets.

There are somethings I don't mind sharing with my boyfriend.  I introduced him to my Mario Badescu Drying Lotion for pimples. I think everyone should know about it because its by far the best zit zapper I've ever used. He now asks me to buy "more of that pink stuff."

Things I don't want to share: my tweezers.  Can you believe he was sticking my Tweezerman up his nose to pull out hair? Ew.  I bought a new set and said "If you touch them I will punch you in the scrotum." As far as I know, he hasn't used it, but if I catch him....

THIS IS NOT FUNNY

Photo: Emporio Armani

Copyranter- The Seoul Advertising Agency Diamond Ogilvy decided to "parody"the above ad of David Beckham for  Emporio Armani underwear. Becks holds a phallic rope while all greased up. The problem with the little joke? Its an ad for GoodNites, the diaper for toddlers who are toilet training.

Okay, so they thought it would be cute, but they even oiled the kid for f*cks sake! Doesn't any one think things through before they just put these things out there for every basement dwelling weirdo with a computer to see? You have to click to see the ad. I don't even want to post it here. Seriously. After seeing it,  I got same stomach turning feeling  that I get when I see the commercials for that  TV show "Toddlers in Tiaras."

UNDER THE WEATHER

Huffington Post - Weatherproof took some flack over their unauthorized ads featuring President Obama. They decided planting the face of the leader of the free world world on an ad for rain jackets worked so well, that now they went ahead and used Abraham Lincoln in the follow up.

No, really, if Lincoln was alive today, he'd totally be down with it. He was so totally, like, liberal that way.

Whats worse is that the company offered up the next go around to a certain moose-hunting, blind to grade school social studies, lipstick-wearing pit bull.  Sarah Palin? You betcha! But, concentrating on her new gig at Fox News, Palin's attorneys declined the offer.

FASHION JUNIOR HIGH

Photo via T Mag, Nicolas Khayat/Enigma/Rex USA

The Moment - The fashion world continues to follow around Tavi, the thirteen year old fashion blogger. Where was she spotted now?  The blue-haired preteen was at the Christian Dior Show in Paris, complete with a giant bow hat.  The hat was given to her by a milliner who made the piece for a Dior show. The giant bow never got used, so she thought it was only appropriate to wear it there.

Isn't that just sweet?  What does this chick have that I don't besides youth, wealthy parents and fashion industry notoriety? Where was my ticket? I can totally make necklaces out of macaroni--not the unhealthy white kind, but the whole grain kind.  Want me to wear a cape? Okay done.  My hair is blue gray naturally before I color it.  I can still fit in my Culture Club tee from the 80's. ( Wearing it now is considered ironic int he cool way now.) Maybe a trash bag skirt inspired by Louis Vuitton runway? With all those pieces combined into one get-up, Im just as zany as her. Or crazy...but I believe we use the term "eccentric" for people that dress like that at fashion shows.

Just tell me. I'll totally do it.

IKEA COUTURE COLLECTION

Photo via Style Frizz

StyleFrizz- Or maybe I just need to wear this Ikea Bag Dress.

In September, I was invited to interview Sam Haskins for a fashion website I was writing for at the time.  I was truly floored that I would be getting to talk to this photography legend in person, even though, I will confess, this was my first introduction to Sam Haskins besides the few photos I'd seen from Tommy Hilfiger ads and the Cowboy Kate images I've seen on other stylist's walls.

In what was being called his "rock star moment", Mr, Haskins was to be part of exhibition opening and the launch of the new book, "Fashion Etc." in collaboration with Tommy Hilfiger.

A day or two before the event, Mr. Haskins fell victim to a stroke and was unable to attend.  I went to the opening anyway.  I circled the entire gallery, and so much of his work caused me to stop and stare. I flipped through a copy of Cowboy Kate, went back to the beginning, started page by page and then pretty much hogged the book for a good amount of time. Looking at his work it became clear to me how much influence his art had on the fashion world. A stylist that I had just worked for based her whole personal style on Cowboy Kate and Other Stories, at least that's what it seemed like to me with the way she does her eye make-up to her love of tall black hats. (Mr. Haskins shot this book before myself or the stylist were even born)

It's a bit ironic, because according to the biography I received at the exhibition, he never intended to be a "fashion photographer."  Many copied his work and his style, which he looked at less as flattery and more as a lack of regard.  But then in 2001, fashion publications rediscovered his work and he began shooting for French Vogue, Harpers Bazaar, Allure, New York and Le Monde.

The Fashion Etc. book was Sam Haskins first collaboration with a fashion designer.  “As a rule, similar projects seldom evolved into such a broad collaboration as this one with Tommy Hilfiger,” Haskins told WWD in June. “My many prior undertakings with paper mills, camera manufacturers and such usually did not amount to much more than producing a calendar and an exhibition. I had simultaneous offers for collaboration on this project. Since I have admired Tommy’s clothing for many years and his proposal was so overwhelmingly warm and human, there was no contest.”

He undoubtedly will continue to be one of the most influential photographers to those in the craft, along with designers and artists.

Sam was expected to make a full recovery from the stroke in September. His son Ludwig says he also suspects that he had another small stroke upon returning to his home in Australia.  The illness caused him to become depressed and to take his own life.

He is survived by his sons, Ludwig and Konrad and by his wife, Alida.

Read the Sam Haskins Blog

Visit Sam Haskin's Site

All About "Cowboy Kate and Other Stories"

"Fashion Etc" Book

I was born in Pittsburgh, right around the corner from the University of Pittsburgh and "The Original Hot Dog Shop --The Dirty O." My family has plenty of history there. My mom worked at the downtown Gimbles. The company was once the largest department store chain in the country and innovator of the Thanksgiving Day Parade four years before its rival, Macys.

When I visited my grandfather, my Dad, my brother and I would drive home at night and I loved passing by all the lit up buildings, bridges and signs. There was the giant Clark Candy bar sign that blinked letter by letter "C," "L"... My other grandfather built his own house that sat on a hill with a huge picturesque window revealing the entire city skyline.

Pittsburgh made me the city girl that I am. It was my first love.  But like all first loves, sometimes you out grow each other and it becomes painfully apparent that you need to move on.

I wanted to work in fashion. I left Pittsburgh in 2002 to move to New York City.  Since living here, I have worked at top magazines and fashion companies. These opportunities never would've presented themselves to me if I would've stayed in the Steel City. I've competed with the best of the best young ladies and men who also left their cities and small towns to join the top-tier creative professionals that chase dreams in only cities like New York, London, Milan and Paris can offer.

But with the world wide web and every kid with a computer blogging about fashion, including myself-- an intermittently employed freelancer--will New York continue to be the fashion mecca of America?

New York City is waving good-bye to its last fashion week in the infamous Bryant Park. Will changes to what used to be an exclusive industry event turn the Lincoln Center version into nothing more that a massive Madison Square Garden style celebrity stalking event?

Fern Mallis, Vice President of IMG, which produces the event told the LA Times back in February, "I don't see why we couldn't attach that element, if for no other reason than the fact that we will be at a place that has the capacity to sell tickets."  The element she is referring to the recent flood of interest in the fab world of fashion from the general public.

Is this a good idea? For IMG who is dreaming of a larger profit margin, maybe so. The larger Lincoln Center Space would provide 87,000 square feet, compared to the 70,000 square feet at Bryant Park. That's enough room for sponsors Palm, TRESemmé, McCafe...and even Starbuck sif they were interested in tying themselves to swank runways.

I contacted a representaive at IMG. I was curious as to what kind of revenue fashion week generates now. Where will the extra money go if the catwalk becomes more like a red carpet at Lincoln Center? I was told that "We won’t be announcing any details in regards to the LC move until after the New Year."  So, IMG, I didn't forget. I'm crossing off the days on my calender and will soon be hounding you like a good little reporter on January 1st. And "the LC?" Are we already giving the high art old people pavillion a cool, young hip nickname?

Do industry veterans, media and buyers of collections really want to sit near a screeching teen who just saw dreamy Penn Badgely walk by? Furthermore, do designers want more phone calls from Ron Jeremy's people requesting invites for a front row seat? Shudder.

Mercedes-Benz Presents Fashion Week Spring 2010

Maybe this is why small cities are spawning their own versions.  In part, they plan to bank off the glamorous, elite, aristocratic world of fashion.

But there may be a shining light in all of these "other" city fashion weeks as well. Could it be a return to the focus on creativity? Is it now turning into just a bunch of people lined up to watch Lindsay Lohan throw Juliette Lewis' front row' seating card on the floor? Quick, name the show where that diva fit took place! My point exactly.

You may have heard about Detroit, Chicago and LA putting on their own runway shows. Did you know Austin, Boston and Cleveland have their own as well? Yes, I said it- Ohio.  Can Pittsburgh and other cities spawn talent that thrives only in their own cities without the eventual move to New York? Will one week a year support the arts, talents and ambitions of independent designers in small cities? Or, is it just like the direction the shows in New York are heading -- just another opportunity to collect on the glorified "Gossip Girl", "Devil Wears Prada" image of fashion.  What will the the publicizing of the industry and rezoning of the garment district mean for New York City's dominance as a fashion capital of the world?

These questions will be answered in time, I suppose.  Until then, Lamont Jones, fashion editor of the Pittsburgh Post Gazzette and assistant director/marketing manager of the Steel City fashion week, I will be expecting my invites in the mail.  I plan to cheer on fashion in my birth city the way yinzers do for the Steelers, but if I see one model sporting a black and gold authentic NFL jersey, Im out and I wont be back!

Way back on November 20th, the fashion blogs were a buzzin' about the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Editors and special people got to attend the live taping in New York City. As always, my invite must have gotten lost in the mail.  Why does this keep happening to me?

Last night, on CBS, I finally got to see what all the hype was about.

The lusty lingerie company recruited Mrs. Appleworth's third grade art class to make "fashion-forward" pieces to adorn the underwear models.  The top named models strutted the runway, decked in Christmas tinsel, miniature balloons, and even paper mache angel wings slathered with primary colored poster paint hearts and more.

The Black Eyed Peas showed up and performed their three word hit "Boom Boom Pow".  Fergie didn't pee herself. Will I. AM and the creepy guy channeled their inner frat boy and took the on stage opportunity to grind on every hot chick that passed in front of them.

My boyfriend came in about 20 minutes into the show and said "what is the point of all this?  Is it one giant commercial?"  Well, pretty much.  Victoria's Secret managed to take the worlds most beautiful models and turn them into video hoes to hawk their bras and panties.

If the company didn't send me a catalog every day, I wouldn't forget that they exist.  There are stores are everywhere.  So why the need to do this sneak peek into "Angel Boot Camp" and back stage antics in which some dork with a head set dropping cheeseball lines such as "Yea, thats what Im talkin' about! Go Girl" as the models prepare to take the stage.

My first pair of "sexy" pajamas came from the Victoria Secret Catalog.  They were these red satin brocade shorts and top. I loved them and felt a little sexier when wearing them.  This was pre-internet days. (Um, I'm only 19 so don't know how that math works, but whatever) It was the sheer hotness of the models like Heidi Klum, Stephanie Seymour and Tyra Banks simply posing in the catalog who could make even the dowdiest of sweaters look like walking desire.

Victoria's Secret, whats with the bizarre faux fur Vegas show girl cat suits? Why did you put Heidi Klum in a sequined body suit trimmed with tissue paper?

I would love to tell you how the show ended, but I couldn't even make it through before I turned it off. Not even looking for stuff to make fun of could keep me from changing the channel. It was like watching an episode of one of those MTV reality shows in which some desperate 19 year old is so starved for her guy roommate's attention, she gets loaded up on Shmirnoff Ice and dances naked on a table top.  Maybe just sending him a suggestive sexy note would've worked better.

Yes, I know its Monday. The title says Sunday.  But I was stuffing my gob with, well, stuffing and I'm just coming out of my food coma now.  So with out further delay....

HEALTHY SKIN IS HOPPIN' AWAY

Reuters - All of you sun lovers and tanning bed buddies, great news! It turns out that Kangaroos have been "holding the key to preventing skin cancer." Tricky bastards.  Maybe if we get pogo sticks, we'll have a chance at actually catching up to them and getting our key back.  Though, this might be a major blow to Lindsay Lohan and her Seven Nyne self- tanning venture.

Don't just stand there! Get him!

W MAG: DEMI'S A HAG!

Oh No They Didn't - Did Demi Moore have an out of body experience?  All over the internet, the rumours are a flyin' that Ashton's Sugar Moma's bangin' body on the cover of "W" is actually that of one supermodel Anja Rubik. That's totally fine with me.  Demi's picture is my Facebook profile pic. My old classmates are so jealous of how hot I got.

Can someone explain why any of the below would need edited?

CHILD LABEL WHORES

Racked - People went insane over Stella McCartney for Gap Kids, so much so that grown women are trying to squeeze their adult asses into children's clothes. Ill admit, I squeezed myself into a child- size Dora the Explorer costume this past Halloween, but that's only because I was dressing up as "Dora the former child star" who was pathetically still wearing her clothes from the show years later.

OMG! I can totally fit into these jeans and band jacket!

BARBIE DOES DON

Bnet -Barbie just cant get her shit together when it comes to men. Its rumored that she was seen canoodling with adulterous womanizer Don Draper.  First that loser Ken, who just wanted to surf all day or work on his "music," and now this.

Why does he look like a 12 year old boy? Maybe appealing to the Barbie crowd?

Photo: DraftFCB

THE NEW FOIL HELMET

NY Mag - Karl Lagerfeld is selling the perfect recession friendly gift. Mink and jewel encrusted helmets.  Drop 1800K to 7K for one of these head protectors and you'll never have to worry about people who try to pick your brain in an attempt to steal your style.

Big Brother cant get to you with all these jewels surrounding your noggin.

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SEXING UP SANTA

Reuters - Santa Gets a Face-lift.  In Auckland New Zealand, a tall fiberglass Father Christmas decoration received $100,000 in "cosmetic surgery."  There were concerns that his droopy, elderly face was scaring children.

The new sexified Santa looks like this:

:

This is Kenny Rogers post plastic surgery if you didnt know!

LUMP O' TRUMP

New York Daily News - Who's the healthiest tycoon you know?  Trumpification world domination continues with Trump vitamins! Want feathery orange hair and skin to match?  You got it!

LL Cool Trump....Ladies Love Cool Trump!

CROC OF SH*T

Shiny Style -Join the Croc's community and share your ideas, thoughts and deepest darkest foam fantasies! I have this fantasy with me and Mario Batali that involves pasta, a wooden spoon and orange crocs.

Oh yea....you're a dirty, nasty chef, arent you!

JESUS GAP CHRIST!

Adweek - Christian groups want the Gap to put the "Christ" back in "Christ-mas"!  Nothing represents the Christian religious holiday better than buying loads of v-neck sweaters made by six year old children in India. How is Santa going to come visit them if  they are up all night knitting?

The Tower of Terror:

Photo: Adweek

CHECK YO' SELF, FOOL

Telegraph - Fashion Funhouse did a blog this week on all the crap, both unlicensed and official, that was tagged with loads of  Louis Vuitton logos.  This is the chav-tastic version, a Burberry nova check house.

Actually, I have to admit, this looks kind of cool.

Photo: Universal News And Sport