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Dec 1, 2009 10:45AM

Funhouse Style: Senior Citizen Chic Style Gift Gallery

MSNBC reported that the "Geezer Bandit: has been robbing up the place with gun in hand.  Depending on your life perspective, you can think this is a really sad day in American when old people have to heist banks for their meds. Or, if you're like me, you may find this a bit funny that a 70 year old man is reliving his Bonnie and Clyde glory days and then feel the need to relate it to fashion in any way you can.  My favorite tidbit of information in this report: "He fled on foot."

I love cardigans and hats. I'm always cold and ranting about how teens dress too sexy. Ive coined this style Senior Citizen Chic.

Click the pics below and get your Grandpa/Grandma Fashion inspired by the Geezer Bandit.

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Nov 30, 2009 12:55PM

Sunday Funhouse Comics - Fashion and Beauty Weekend News Round Up

Yes, I know its Monday. The title says Sunday.  But I was stuffing my gob with, well, stuffing and I'm just coming out of my food coma now.  So with out further delay....

HEALTHY SKIN IS HOPPIN' AWAY

Reuters - All of you sun lovers and tanning bed buddies, great news! It turns out that Kangaroos have been "holding the key to preventing skin cancer." Tricky bastards.  Maybe if we get pogo sticks, we'll have a chance at actually catching up to them and getting our key back.  Though, this might be a major blow to Lindsay Lohan and her Seven Nyne self- tanning venture.

Don't just stand there! Get him!

 

W MAG: DEMI'S A HAG!

Oh No They Didn't - Did Demi Moore have an out of body experience?  All over the internet, the rumours are a flyin' that Ashton's Sugar Moma's bangin' body on the cover of "W" is actually that of one supermodel Anja Rubik. That's totally fine with me.  Demi's picture is my Facebook profile pic. My old classmates are so jealous of how hot I got.

Can someone explain why any of the below would need edited?

 

CHILD LABEL WHORES

Racked - People went insane over Stella McCartney for Gap Kids, so much so that grown women are trying to squeeze their adult asses into children's clothes. Ill admit, I squeezed myself into a child- size Dora the Explorer costume this past Halloween, but that's only because I was dressing up as "Dora the former child star" who was pathetically still wearing her clothes from the show years later.

OMG! I can totally fit into these jeans and band jacket!

 

BARBIE DOES DON

Bnet -Barbie just cant get her shit together when it comes to men. Its rumored that she was seen canoodling with adulterous womanizer Don Draper.  First that loser Ken, who just wanted to surf all day or work on his "music," and now this.

Why does he look like a 12 year old boy? Maybe appealing to the Barbie crowd?

Photo: DraftFCB

THE NEW FOIL HELMET

NY Mag - Karl Lagerfeld is selling the perfect recession friendly gift. Mink and jewel encrusted helmets.  Drop 1800K to 7K for one of these head protectors and you'll never have to worry about people who try to pick your brain in an attempt to steal your style.

Big Brother cant get to you with all these jewels surrounding your noggin.

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Nov 22, 2009 3:08PM

The Sunday Funhouse Comics - Fashion & Beauty News Weekend Round Up

SEXING UP SANTA

Reuters - Santa Gets a Face-lift.  In Auckland New Zealand, a tall fiberglass Father Christmas decoration received $100,000 in "cosmetic surgery."  There were concerns that his droopy, elderly face was scaring children.

The new sexified Santa looks like this:

:

This is Kenny Rogers post plastic surgery if you didnt know!

 

LUMP O' TRUMP

New York Daily News - Who's the healthiest tycoon you know?  Trumpification world domination continues with Trump vitamins! Want feathery orange hair and skin to match?  You got it!

LL Cool Trump....Ladies Love Cool Trump!

 

CROC OF SH*T

Shiny Style -Join the Croc's community and share your ideas, thoughts and deepest darkest foam fantasies! I have this fantasy with me and Mario Batali that involves pasta, a wooden spoon and orange crocs.

Oh yea....you're a dirty, nasty chef, arent you!

 

JESUS GAP CHRIST!

Adweek - Christian groups want the Gap to put the "Christ" back in "Christ-mas"!  Nothing represents the Christian religious holiday better than buying loads of v-neck sweaters made by six year old children in India. How is Santa going to come visit them if  they are up all night knitting?

The Tower of Terror:

Photo: Adweek

 

CHECK YO' SELF, FOOL

Telegraph - Fashion Funhouse did a blog this week on all the crap, both unlicensed and official, that was tagged with loads of  Louis Vuitton logos.  This is the chav-tastic version, a Burberry nova check house.

Actually, I have to admit, this looks kind of cool.

Photo: Universal News And Sport

 

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Nov 19, 2009 10:02AM

Big Brother is Watching You...in Your Undies

This is perhaps the dumbest idea ever. If you were thinking about getting your lady some sexy lingerie for the holidays, leave this one off your list.

What do you get for the woman who has everything and a penchant for being stalked?  How about underwear with a built in GPS!

At first you would assume that these state of the art intimates were designed by some creepy scar faced man sitting in his dark basement science lab, while rubbing his palms together and laughing manically.  Annie Smith stood him up as his prom date and he hasn't seen her since. If he can only sneak into her apartment and lay them on her bed in a creepily wrapped brown paper gift box.  Then she will be all his...muhahahahahahhahahahahaha!

But they are actually designed by a woman.  Brazilian designer Lucia Lorio created these lacy pretty things called "Find Me if You Can" for the man (or lesbian) who wants to keep tabs on that ass, literally.

When asked if she thinks this could be detrimental in any way, Lucia says "This collection... is a wink to women and a challenge to men because, even if she gives him the password to her GPS, she can always turn it off. "She can be found only if she wants to."

Thank goodness no one has the skills to hack passwords, otherwise they'd be forced to good old fashion window peeping.

Photo: Lucia Lorio, AFP

 

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Nov 18, 2009 11:22PM

Plus Size Baby Quits the Modeling Industry After Weight Gain

Following the Ralph Lauren ad controversy in which model Filippa Hamilton was photoshopped into a Hamptons style Bratz doll, the fashion and publishing industry is about to take another slap on the ass.

In the aftermath of the media attention regarding the ad, the Swedish born 23 year old model told the New York Daily News that she was fired because she couldn't fit into the clothes anymore. Recently rumors surfaced that Gemma Ward, a model whose walked the runways of every elite from Marc Jacobs to Valentino is quitting the catwalk due to the industry and media scrutiny regarding her weight gain.

It seems the great weight debate among fashion and the "real world" isn't going away. Its latest target?  Babies.

Baby Jake is much happier and comfortable with his weight after quitting modeling.

News broke this past Sunday that a leading editor at a magazine admitted that babies were being "airbrushed" to make them look more attractive. Practical Parenting and Pregnancy, a monthly magazine, has said they only did this because they wanted to "put them across in the best light".

And now, baby models are falling on their diaper padded behinds under the pressure.  Baby Jake, who rose to fame when he was chosen for the coveted Parisian Baby September cover has decided to retire from modeling. This news was announced at a press conference by his spokesperson, mother Irene.

Says Irene, "Jake has informed me by crying loudly at every photo shoot that we've attempted in the last 3 weeks that he no longer wants to be a model. That is all the information that I can give you at this time."

But, when we caught up with Irene and Jake in their Upper East Side New York home later in the week, the truth was revealed as to why baby Jake was really crying.

"I was a fat baby," says Irene holding a picture of herself when she was 6 months old, Jake's age now.  Irene adds "so I know." She wipes a tear from her eye and continues "... what its like when people call you things like chubalub and chunka chunka thighs."

She first noticed that Jake's size was a problem at a photo shoot for Mode a la Bebe.  A stylist tried to put him in a size 0-3 months Winnie the Pooh onesie, but a recent switch from just milk to cream cereal caused Jake to pack on the pounds.

"The stylist was trying to stuff him in these pajamas and he was crying.  I asked if she had another size. She told me they don't make infant sample size clothing in Jake's size and if he wanted to model, he would need to adapt.'  I immediately took him home and encouraged him to exercise in his Mr. Frog Fun-time Baby Bouncer, but he would just fall asleep in it." Said Irene.

After several instances of the same story, agents recommended that Jake consider plus size modeling.  Jake remained uncooperative on those shoots as well.  That's when his mother called a press conference to announce his retirement.

We asked Jake if he planned to return to modeling any time soon, but he just snatched the tape recorder from our hands and shoved it in his mouth. We assume his decision is final.

Read more about BBC's "My Supermodel Baby"

Read the original article in Telegraph UK

 

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