Fashion Funhouse Emporium

Emporium Style: Celebrity Design to Get Behind from Courtney Cox and David for Satya Jewelry

Fashion Emporium Editor — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 09:57:40 EST

If you've dropped by Fashion Funhouse Emporium in the last couple days and noticed my lack of blogging, you may have felt sad, disappointed or even suicidal.

I suppose I have some explaining to do. I've been busy this week working as a 2nd assistant to a celebrity stylist. To sum up my week briefly: The stylist and her first assistant got into a huge fight which lasted for an hour and a half while I sat there having an ethical debate with myself...should I send my resume to the stylist? It was pure New York Post Page Six gossip column sh*t. Therefore I cant disclose any details. I also realized that I am too old to be schlepping awards show gowns all over the City of New York. I fell asleep on the couch every night this week in full make up and clothing, like a drunk uncle after Thanksgiving dinner. Wait...would an uncle wear make-up? Any hoo, what was I blogging about today...oh celebrity jewelry.

I usually scoff at celebrity clothing and jewelry lines. Though, I will admit, there are a few good ones out there. And sometimes they are for a good purpose other than "branding" yourself as a "mogul."

Courtney Cox and David Arquette have teamed up with Satya Jewelry to create symbolic, inexpensive necklaces, bracelets and earrings to benefit Epidermolysis Bullosa Medical Research Foundation, aiming to find a cure for a rare childhood skin disease. The Satya Foundation donates 100% of the proceeds to the EB foundation.

EB cutout silver butterfly & blue topaz necklace, Satya Jewelry

18kt gold plated eb mini butterfly earrings, Satya Jewelry

Celebs, take note! Use your power for good and not evil!

Jewelry Artists Imitate Life With Things That Probably Shouldn't be Worn Around Your Neck

Fashion Emporium Editor — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:55:47 EDT

I laughed. I cried. I even gagged.

Sometimes just because something exists, doesn't mean it should be made into accessories.

This is Fashion Funhouse Emporium's "jewelry that made me laugh and/or gag uncontrollably, partly out of awkwardness, and then out of sheer immaturity."

VulvaLoveLovely (NSFW- I repeat, not safe for work!) I'm not posting a picture of this jewelry collection because of the obvious, and I don't want to see a stranger's snooby dooby doo every time I log on to my blog.

This designer offers a handmade replica of your "Noni Mitchell" if you take a picture and send it to her. If you're too shy to snap a low angle picture of your poon, then feel free to send the designer a description via email. No. Seriously, "In your description please include: The shape of your inner and outer labia..."

Listen, If I wanted the whole world to see my stuff, I'd go pantless. But,that's just me.

I suppose if you've been inspired by the "Vagina Monologues" and feel the need to get loud and proud about your pudenda, then head on over to Etsy and order.

Photo: Polly Van der Glas

Polly Van der Glas is an Australian designer who uses old molars of some people you don't know as glistening gems. Okay, maybe they're not quite glistening, in fact a few of these human tooth necklaces look like they have a bit of fossilized Twinkie stuck in the crevices. But if you wanna go all "Apocalypes Now" with out cutting off human ears, then teeth are your best option.

Photo: Etsy

Moose Poop Doo Doo Nugget - I didn't make that up. That is how this product is listed. You know that saying "you can't shine sh*t?" Well, you totally can. Some guy in Maine did it and made it into a necklace. Animal Feces. Around your neck.

Turns out this is not some random joke.

Apparently in Talkeetna, Alaska there is an "annual Moose Dropping Festival that celebrates moose nuggets. The most unusual event during this festival is the dropping of a thousand moose nuggets from a hot-air balloon onto the crowd below."

They never say exactly why they are dropping moose deuce all over people.

Sarah Palin, remember that beauty endorsement you were looking for? Its not lipstick, but its jewelry. What do you say?

Funhouse Style: The Knuckle Knockers Are Sculpture For Your Fists! - Two Finger Rings

Fashion Emporium Editor — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:24:14 EDT

When you think of knuckle rings, you probably picture an iced out gold plate with "baby girl" carved into it, but as these artists demonstrate, two-finger rings are not just for hip-hop anymore!

1) Heart Enamel Ring, Erica Anenberg 2) Gully Bird, Bijules NYC 3) Brooklyn Bridge Ring, Nior 4) Bicycler Ring, Cavello Fine Jewelers 5) Snake Ring, Girl Props 6) Rights Ring, Ken & Dana Design

Style Emporium: Buildings, Bridges and Broadcasting! The Thornwall Collection By Ester Delug

Fashion Emporium Editor — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 22:25:49 EDT

Here at Fashion Funhouse Emporium, we love jewelry. The right statement pieces can take a basic ensemble from everyday carbon copy to full of personality.

With the Thornwall Collection, we can do you one better. You can lord over your own metropolis and own your very own radio network. In the 1950's before the days of individual phone numbers, Thornwall 84 was once a calling code for Los Angeles. Inspired by cities, homes, and comforts within--like radios that first popularized mass communication, these unique, fun bangles, rings and necklaces follow the rise of metropolitan living.

Take a look at your future cities. Our editor is calling her's "Amberopolis."

Bridge Double Finger Ring, Photo: Brandon Showers

Large Radio Pendant, Seismograph Pendant, Cityscape Bangles, Cities & Roads Bangles. Photo: Brandon Showers

Cityscape Ring- featuring 18 buildings. Photo: Brandon Showers

Do you love it? To see the pieces above in greater detail or to see more of the Little Rooms Jewelry line, click here: www.littlerooms.com

Little Rooms Designer Bio: An LA native, Ester Delug's designs play on the penchants of her childhood, particularly her fascination with dollhouses. “I’m obsessed,” Ester openly admits with a laugh, “There’s something so charming about them-the innocence they represent. But they’re also kind of creepy too, and I love that-that underlying weirdness.” The designer is no stranger to the strange, either. Starting her career as a special effects makeup artist, Ester routinely churned out monsters and mayhem, her favorite jobs being the bloodiest and most gruesome. “My background in makeup had a tremendous influence on developing my collection and jewelry design. I was doing tons of prosthetic molding, and the creative process is very similar to those in jewelry making.”