CAMI SECRET
Since the Dickie has fallen out of fashion, its time for a new modern version. Enter Cami Secrets! I saw this commercial last night and was not at all tempted to buy, for I was too busy staring at this woman's jiggling jugs.
See, the boob o'meter warning scale as this commercial points out, is high, medium, and low. Creepy boss and cheap date, you get none, thanks to the "secret" stuffed in this lady's top like a napkin at a dinner party.
I'm not sure when a kelly green synthetic fabric top is ever in fashion, but "its just not right" at the office. The Cami Secret clips to your bra, which is apparently easier than tugging at your shirt all day.
Or you could just wear proper office attire.
THE ARCTIC TIE
Yes, the August heat can be so brutal, especially here in New York City. What to do? Channel your inner cow girl!
How this product works: soak the Arctic Tie in cold water for 20 minutes. Then "magic" crystals hold the cooling coolness for like-- well it doesn't say. But it absorbs up to 10x the amount of water than any old towel you'd wrap around your neck and you can do it with style!
Its like an Arctic chill built into Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the U.S.A." bandanna. Wow.
THE PERFECT FIT BUTTON
Can't crack down on the KFC double downs? Are you not worried about the camel toe that will show is you still try to stuff yourself into too tight jeans like an over-packed suitcase? Would you rather not spend money on buying your kid new pants, though he looks like he woke up as Tom Hanks in "Big"? Then this product is for you.
Since sewing a button is seeewwww hard (heh) just add one of these fake buttons on to your pants and commence the squeezing!
But wait, there's more! You get some sort of shoe box too if you order now.
YUDU
"Settling for run-of-the-mill t-shirts that don’t express the real you?" Celebrities are not the only ones that can have their own brands these days. Not with the Yudu (get it you-do?) Its your own personal silk screen machine that you can use in your kitchen. Great for teens that can't get enough of Facebook bullying. If you think "Sasha is slutty slut bag" then put it on a t-shirt for you and all of your friends.
Do you love sharing every aspect of your life, but are finding that posting Twitter and status updates are not getting a far enough reach? Well, wear it on your sleeve, literally! "Billy Doesn't Want to Live in a Nanny State." Ah, no he doesn't!
Perfect for every political, religious and moral view point you want to share. I mean, who shouldn't have their own screen printer, right?
