Fashion Funhouse Emporium

In this nutty world we call the fashion industry, it's generally time to think about the spring 2011 fashions. Though, here in NYC, Mayor Bloomberg once again has neglected to prepare for another round of snow, like its some elusive, unexpected element. I am snowed in and missing out on some great cereal print ad money, might I add!

Ranting aside, how can I possibly think of swimsuits, light silks and shorts when the 5ft of snow is being shoveled by the single mom that lives one floor below me? (My landlord lives in Staten Island so he probably can't get out to Brooklyn).

So, I say is there a better day to check out pre-fall 2011 collections? You won't be able to get your hands on any of it until June/ July 2011. Pre-Fall while sometimes overlooked, for me has some great gems. Perhaps since its a capsule collection of sorts, designers tend to get a bit more adventurous. Without further ado, Pre-Fall clothes porn to ogle while trapped indoors due to in-climate weather.

PAIRED DOWN PREP

Akris, Jason Wu

You like the preppy style but find it unnecessary to make it so literal with popped collars and bright tropical colors. You have a summer home and graduated from an Ivy League school, but you don't feel the need to say it.

CHECKERED PAST

Dior, Viktor and Rolf

Whether its 1960's movie fashion icon or 1920's prohibition gangster with a sprinkle of lumberjack, plaids are in for prefall.

NOT SO BASIC BLACK

Maison Martin Margiela, Jean Paul Gualtier

Im not going to give you cliche phrases like "Back in Black" or "Black is the New Black." Black is in, its always in. It will never go away. Purple, Gray or navy is not the "new black." So yea, stop with that.

1970'S OBSESSED

Diane von Furstenberg, Just Cavalli

Going through my mom's closet back in the 80's, I laughed and swore I'd never wear the 70's styles she held on to. I eat my words, man, and my mom was goovy. Its hard to find a pre-fall designer that wasn't influenced by the pant suit shapes, floppy hats and mid calf a-line skirts of the era.

GREAT GATSBY GALA

Louis Vuitton, Naeem Kahn

"It excited him, too, that many men had already loved Daisy--it increased her value in his eyes."
- F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby.

So you want to check out spring anyway?

Not in the mood for Spring? Sample Berlin Fall Fashion Week.

Some of us have not had the opportunity to travel overseas. As a result, when speaking of German people, we (or, I mean "I") may conjure up images of women with braided pigtails in floral dresses and men in lederhosen, dancing arm in arm with beer steins to tuba music.

Though, if you really want to get an idea of what modern German fashion looks like, then check out my top ten looks from Winter/ Autumn 2011 Berlin Fashion Week (like the rest of this blog, in no particular coherent order).

DAWID TOMASZEWSKI

Dawid studied under Dame Vivienne Westwood, worked for Sonia Rykiel and Comme Des Garcons. When checking out his collection for the Autumn/ Winter 2011, its not hard to tell his strength is his knits and mixing of textures. Though he showed many of ho-hum looks, the stand outs were hell-yeah over the top.

ESCADA SPORT

In the late 70's and early 80's this veteran German label was the coolest for luxury loving poof-haired debonairness. They struggled to stay alive during the 1990's. Then  in 2009, the company filed for insolvency.  With the help of a buyer bail out, Escada, and the Escada Sport label is still walking the runway. This season, with a "glacial adventure theme" the younger focused sibling's sport label churned out contemporary-trend friendly pieces. Though, it's doubtful we'd see this girl trekking though the Antarctic in shorts, the muffler bag scored this look a spot on my list.

STEFAN PELGER

Stefan Pelger's collection entitled Eisenblum which means "Frost Patterns" from what I can gather from my brief, lazy Google search. I don't know for sure. I don't speak German and there's a 99.9% chance I will never learn. Anywhoo, this was one of my favorite collections of Berlin Fashion Week. It was absolutely the most consistent. By this I mean, it seems many of the designers that showed in Berlin went from rock, to secretary, to straight up simplicity. While I would equate frost patterns with white, I really admired this "bee-keeper sophisticate in mourning" aesthetic.

LALA BERLIN

Mixed in with a couple of wackadoo patterned suits, Lala Berlin presented some incredibly cool interpretations of everyday ready to wear. While most looks in the collection didn't really come off as sexy as the above look, this minimal plunging sweater coupled with bright yellow  wide leg  trousers hooked me. Note, that I usually loathe yellow anything, as the color reminds me of illness or hospital walls.

IRENE LUFT

Irene Luft's collection was inspired by art nouveau Jugenstil, or literally translated, "youth style, " combined with Bauhaus or fine art crafty stuff. After reading all of that, I get it completely. If left to my own devices, I would assume it was inspired by an Cher era Bob Mackie on lithium, which as you can see is not at all a bad thing.

SCHUMACHER

Dorothee Schumacher laid out one of the most manic collections I clicked through of all the designers showing at Berlin Fashion Week. I'd imagine if my untraveled self was actually wandering around Germany, this is a metaphor for how I'd actually be feeling: confused. Though, what I did like was that among some of the complete fails, individual looks had something thrown in that gives the impression of a chic woman who is still down to earth. This look, an untucked shirt under a tailored suit was just that.

LENA HOCSHEK

If Zooey Deschanel wasn't sitting front row at Lena Hoschek's show, she should've been. Only a cute quirky (Zooey doesn't like that adjective, though how else to describe her slips my mind) cool chick like that can pull this off. While the majority of men would dismiss Lena's girl, the smart ones know that she has something going on without having to put it all out there. Smart guys and dudes with sexy librarian fetishes....

DIMITRI

Dimitri gave a 1970's throw back that the modern day Rachel Zoe would die for or is it "Sterben?" I don't know, I can only make sense of Latin based languages. There were some literal translations when it came to clothing with wide leg jeans and capes, but then there was this Bianca Jagger gem.

A.F. VANDEVORST

Another veteran showing with up and comers, A.F. Vandevrost's collection "A.Friend" was the result of chatting with real friends about what the design duo should create. The result are clothes emerging from the suggestions of pals. So, yea, if your friends are high-styled bad ass chicks.

ALLUDE

Allude is familiar to me because I actually used a piece in a shoot that I did for Husk (release date TBD).  While the line was supposed to be "cashmere for the Gatsby Goddess." I got more of an uptown 1980's vibe. This look, with the "A" reminded me of Laverne, from the late 70's early 80's sit-com, that is if she moved on up, to the east side like the Jeffersons.

Yael Torbati, Creative Director of Raven Denim- An Exclusive Fashion Funhouse Emporium Interview.

By Amber Stolec

What if  you knew the world was going to end May 21, 2011? Well, you should know that it will, according to this theologian, Harold Camping. Harry says "psssht" to those who believe Armageddon will happen in 2012.

Then, this past week in Arizona, dead birds fell from the sky and Kirk Cameron went on CNN to talk about it. What more proof do you need?

2012 or 2011, either way, that doesn't leave us much time, now does it? I'm not the type to go out, rob banks, shoot up the town, or drink excessively when I hear that judgement day is coming. I'm not going to loot, but what I will do is max all my credit cards. I wont have to pay them back. Rebel! Genius!

What would I get with my middle class line of credit? Duh, fashion!

Here is a list of Items I'd buy in preparation for the end of the world:

Chloé Whipstitch leather dress

A leather dress is a necessity in times like this. If you haven't seen Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, then you have no clue what Im talking about.

Opening Ceremony Metal Tipped Ankle Boot

You may think that high heels are an ill choice, but trust me, I thought about this. With 5 inch heels, I can easily step over dead birds. Since this shoe has a metal tip, it's added protection. I can add some tights if necessary, but I fear it may be hot, like end of the world hot.

Floppy Brim Fedora by Rag and Bone

Yes, I know its more Indiana Jones than Thunderdome, but I need a cool looking hat.

Maison Martin Margiela Set of two 24-karat rose gold-plated arm cuffs

I need some bad ass arm bands and warrior style jewelry...made by Maison Martin Margiela.

Marni Small leather satchel

My phone probably wont work, so Ill need something large enough to carry some sort of Morse code type device (which also wont work if there are no more cables to transfer signals) but I can probably find some tin cans and rope.

A year ago when I got canned from AOL Stylelist (replaced by an overseas writer who could reach the breaking news faster than me) I decided I missed writing about fashion.

I started this blog with no expectations and 50,000 hits later, my goofy named blog actually had readers. Where to go next was the problem. I found myself with hardly anytime to post given my day job is an assistant to fashion stylists here in New York.  When I did write, it seemed I was getting bored with the same ol' posts that every other fashion blog out there had.

This year I've decided to take it back to basics, the good old fashion self indulgent first person posts that my blog class teacher advised against. Here's to taking risks in 2011.

Thanks for following and I hope you'll enjoy the posts to come.