Fashion Funhouse Emporium

Jil Sander Spring 2011

I  assisted a stylist for a Paris magazine. The Jil Sander dress that we got in reminded me of an orange construction vest. I imagined any woman wearing it would immediately transform into a foul mouth cat-caller with a jack hammer: "Eay, lookin' good honey!"

Aside from that one weird piece that was my introduction to Jil Sander's spring 2011 collection, the mostly minimal with bright dashes of color is so aesthetically pleasing to my eyes. The German luxury label, headed by creative director Raf Simmons sent out paired down perfection with crew neck t-shirts attached to long elegant skirts, wide leg pants with some proper prints like floral and stripes.

The best part about this collection? If you don't have close to $3K to shell out for the trapeze tunic top, head to Uniqlo, where the +J lower priced label resides and create the look yourself.

+J Uniqlo Spring 2011

Back in December 2009, I was in awe to find that Charlie Sheen had his own clothing line. In light of what people are calling Sheenmania, I thought I would re-visit his ventures in the fashion industry. After all, we in America love it when we see the mighty famous send themselves right to the shitter with a full on meth-fueled media blitz right?

Did you know that this father and husband of the year launched a children's line back in 2005? Yes, kids. Or should I say "Sheen Kidz." (Whats with the misspellings when it comes to children? Have you heard the "Kars for Kids" commercials? I was four when I learned to spell "car" and "kids" properly).

Kitson Kids in LA was a carrier of the line, but after glancing at the website, its nowhere to be found. How long its been gone, I'm not sure. Perhaps "It’s not available, because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off, and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

But, the company website for his little girls line is still up. Whats not funny is that this man has threatened to kill pretty much every woman hes been with and he has three daughters (and two sons). So why are his clothing sites still up? Are his business partners not worried about profiting from such a sad sack of a human being? Or is this some kind of tough love thing by all who surround him to just let him implode?

My solution to this "crisis" is this. Just imagine if its like one of those drinking games you played in college. Every time one of his maniacal rants trends on Twitter with the hash tag #winning, #tigerblood, #goddesses-- or someone re-posts his crap on Facebook, donate to a charity that helps abused women and children in honor of "Charlie Sheen's Media Blitz"

Even if its just a dollar, think about how this self-called clothing designer and fame-ho broke a record with the fastest growing account Twitter has ever had. And companies are actually now offering money to this disturbed poo bag to open his fat gob.

I urge you to participate in my Charlie Sheen Media Blitz call for donations. To find a women and children's charity near you, check the web and find somewhere you feel comfortable donating.

Here are a couple of links to check out:

Women, Children and Family Services of America

Charity Navigator

I just put my money where Sheen's dirty mouth is for local charity SafeHorizon.

Yuna Yang was named one of our women's designers to watch. Early critiques of her work was that she had the talent, but she needed a bit of a jump on coordinating a collection that was not just a random display of technique, but also a complete vision. Sadly she didn't take her spirited designs to the cuckoo couture level. It seems she's managed more commercial-friendly designs in her latest Fall 2011 collection.

Colors: black, camel, blue, gray, pink

Materials: organza, chiffon, jersey, knits

Looks Loved

To view full collection, see WWD

The sequin short sporty dress could blend in with the Alice + Olivia sections of department stores. Piece by piece, the wide leg pants were great, the tops were basic. But it was a bit as if you could see Yang sitting in a room with "designer's block." Is that a real phrase you ask? It is now!

Unloved Looks

Still, it remains that she's still trying to find her identity. While I can see many of these pieces online at contemporary stores, overall, I wonder whose closet I'm looking into- mom's or daughters? The show could've used much stronger styling to at least bring in some cohesion. Spring 2011 was a much stronger collection.

People, Scene and Music

Shown at the Alvin Ailey Theater, this off-site show was about as basic as it could get. Basic clothes, basic stage, basically basic. Sure, the show had a title called Bright Lights, Big City (this was also the name of a 1988 movie starring my childhood crush Michael J. Fox) and was supposed to follow the journey of how a women evolves because of her arrival in said city, but the stage and venue did nothing to help that vision.

Video

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Karl-head Rating:

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Reviewed by Jamar Graham

SImon Spurr has been showing for a few seasons now to much interest of the industry. It seems now he has moved from dressing the average-Joe to dressing the international editors of the world. The winding long line outside the show proved that he has reached an acclaimed status. Fashion Funhouse Emporium named him as one of the Men's Designers to Watch during the Spring 2011 season.

Line outside Simon Spurr

Materials: chunky knits, wool suiting, leather, cashmere, faux fur

Color: black, white, brown, gray, camel, navy, pumpkin gold, stone, bronze.

Loved Looks

Jamar's picks above, Amber's picks below!

Spurr churned out a mix of suits in stripes and prints, taking on a modern sixties mod vibe with a link to a dark-side. Men will be rushing to get their hands on these duds. The second skin leather jackets, 3/4 zip hooded leather pullovers, and very slim sleeved leather arms on wool coats were tailored to perfection as was the entire collection. Spurr is a shining star and for him, showing along side the menswear collections in Milan is the next logical step for the designer. Though, for selfish reasons I hope he stays grounded in New York.

Unloved Looks

The metallic shirt and black pants look seemed out of place.

People, Scene and Music

Exit Art is always a long haul, but it was worth it.

Jamar was snapped by street photographer extraordinaire Tommy Ton! I told you he was cooler than me!

Video

View more videos at: http://www.nbcnewyork.com.

Karl-head Rating

What the hell does this mean? View Fashion Funhouse Emporiums Karl-head Rating System!