The Business End - Mario Batali Gently Wipes a Tear of Joy From his Eye as Crocs are Saved!

Fashion Emporium Editor — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 11:26:20 EDT

Reuters reports that the fun, fruit colored foam footwear will live on. Crocs has secured a 30 million dollar loan from PNC Financial Services Group to keep the clog craze a float.

Back in July, the Washington Post predicted that the company would soon drown in a moat of debt due to quick expansion and the extreme durability of the shoe. Auditors expressed concerns that the company may not be able to keep its head above water.

Fashionistas cheered. Mario Batali cried.

Upon hearing the news of the new loan, the chipper chef told StyleList: "Their sheer comfort will always overrule fashionistas, religious fanatics [referring to Yom Kippur Croc ban] and banking doomsayers. Crocs is here to stay."

Yes, pajamas and slippers are comfortable, but you dont see us wearing them in public. (Mario, your food is good by the way. We like you but not your shoes.)

And while we are on the subject of comfort and over looking the fact of people look asif they made no effort to get dressed or even tie a real pair of shoes... thank you, Juicy Couture for revolutionizing the social acceptance of velour track suits and inspiring millions of knock off sweat sets- that don't seem to ever, ever, be going away- which accentuate butt cracks and camel toes oh so well. Thank you for making everyday look like an awkward high school gym class.

How we fashion folks yearn for the years when men wore hats and suits, women wore gloves and dresses and people's clothing choice's said "I do have some respect for my fellow human beings. I am not chronically depressed and did not just roll out of of bed due to the obligations of the world around me"

Oh and Uggs boots, you can go to hell too.

Oh Yay! Crocs!

Funhouse Style: Hilary: Pants Suit Plus Color, but Not Colored Pants Suit

Fashion Emporium Editor — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 20:10:27 EDT

Dear Secretary of State Clinton,

"You know who you should style? Hilary. She needs to get out of those ugly-a** pants suits. You'd make a million dollars," said my boyfriend's co-worker.

While I doubt that you are in the market for a wardrobe stylist and that you'd pay a cool million, after seeing the African inspired jacket in the Huffington Post, Fashion Funhouse Emporium feels compelled to give free, unsolicited advice via this open letter.

We understand you are in a man's world, and need to be taken seriously. At the same time, you still want to keep your femininity. Hence, ill fitting rainbow array of colored suits are your tactic. We know you don't want people talking about your clothes, but instead focusing on your policies (but they are talking about the clothes). We know that being in the shadow of Big Bill is difficult. You are your own strong, smart and beautiful woman.

This is why we have put together those pants suits that you love in a way you can wear color and prints, but done right. Oh, and if you so choose to hire a million dollar stylist, we are for hire.

Sincerely,

The Editors of Fashion Funhouse Emporium