Getting Dirty in Denim - Part 1: Jeans

Fashion Emporium Editor — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 01:04:20 EST

It's been a couple days since I posted. I was working with a talented stylist on a denim story for a magazine. It inspired me to pick out some of my favorite jeans to post here.

While I would like to dress nicely everyday while working, what you don't see on the television shows about fashion is the amount of dirty manual labor that goes on behind the scenes. Denim with a nice flowing blouse looks like I put effort into my outfit, but is also practical while you're running around to showrooms and picking up garment bags.

And when I say picking up garment bags, I dont mean literally picking them up. One brand lent three bags full of every style of blues they made. I had to drag those bags--because they were too heavy-- to the end of the block and wait for a cab.

Since we were doing the photo shoot across the street from the office, I packed up all 3,000lbs of denim and used a 3 foot long duffel bag to transport them. While I dragged this trunk behind me with my stick arms, I started laughing out loud on the street. I thought about those Strong Man competitions shown on ESPN where muscle guys drag Volkswagen Beetles on a rope. That is what I must of looked like to the cars and pedestrians going by. Whoever says fashion is easy has never dragged a tank made of denim down a city block.

Anyway, for you ladies, none of us have a uniform body shape. I tried to pick brands that I've heard fashion people say they love, and I like as well. Though some of these brands can be pricey, a good pair of jeans is worth spending on. If you are like me, you'll only wear the ones that flatter. There's no sense in having ten pairs of jeans cluttering up the closet that don't fit correctly.

From top clockwise: 1) Cheap Monday Skinny Jeans: they run small, good for petite women 2) Seven for All Mankind: good for tall women 3) Acne: great quality 4) J Crew: perfect trouser jeans 5) J Brand: Slimming 6) See by Chloe: go to for bohemian style 7) Siwy: neat novelty denim styles for trend hounds 8)Joe's Jeans: great for "boy shapes" 9) William Rast: straight leg style is perfect.

Man Style: Calvin Klein's New Jeans Move the Junk From the Trunk and into the Front Seat

Fashion Emporium Editor — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 11:14:05 EDT

Photo: Calvin Klein

Women do it. (Well, I don't...just so you know.) There are all sorts of creations and contraptions to make mammaries look "fuller" like water bras, silicone inserts, or chicken cutlets as we industry insiders call them, and even ladies jeans that maximize the bootius maximus.

So isn't it in all fairness that Body by Calvin Klein jeans for men, as the company says, have a "body-defining fit for an enhanced profile." In other words, they let dudes rock out with their coc...um, gives them a little help in the crotch area.

But do women really ever stare down below for any sort of hint of a man's size? I asked straight boys if they would wear this new innovation in denim (and was really just prying to find out if they really think chicks check that out.) A friend named Mike said "I don't think jeans are supposed to show an outline of that region?" When I asked my straight photographer friend if he thought these pants were more for gay men he said " or hipsters with complexes about their penis sizes."

I asked a British guy if the men of England would be more into this sort of crotch flashery. "No! That's ridiculous." he said. I guess this debunks my theory that European men are more into showing their stuff.

I was going to ask an old dude what he thought, but couldn't muster up the courage to ask my dad. I guess that point of view on penis padding will remain a mystery in this investigation.

My gay friend thinks this tactic could save some humilitaiton, "I won't have to be embarrassed when my date's inaugural 3rd base grope turns out to be my gym socks."

So fellas, if you wont admit that you've all thought about it, or if you're embarrassed to admit you have a small problem, or if you just think bigger is better, you can get these designer dic er, crotch enhancing pants at Calvin Klein for $79.50. Just remember, stuffed-in socks can fall out of place.

Fashion Funhouse Emporium

Getting Dirty in Denim - Part 1: Jeans

Man Style: Calvin Klein's New Jeans Move the Junk From the Trunk and into the Front Seat