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Dec 20, 2009 5:43PM

Sunday Funhouse Comics: Fashion and Beauty Weekend News Round Up

WHATS A ROD-DART-TEE?

The Thread- Crowds flocked to Target in New York  in a Supermarket Sweep style shopping expedition to grab the new Rodarte for Target Collection.  I am a big fan of fashion for less, but women throwing the entire collection into carts bothers me a bit.  Just because it bears a designer name does not mean a) it will fit you properly, b) it is a style that suits you and c) and you'll be wearing an exclusive piece. Yes, i said it.  Last, when you visit any store outside of the metropolitan New York City, you'll find racks upon racks of Target's designer collaborations, a young girl sifting through the leopard dresses and her mother in a velour  track suit asking "Whats a Rod-art-eee?"

Though, when Jean Paul Gaultier hits Target, hopefully with gender bending three piece suits, I just might be one of those stampeding women, complete with hockey mask and stick, standing on the back of a fast moving red shopping cart like Spartacus: "Outta my way bitches!!"

Photo: Target

CHILDREN OF THE CORN

Reuters - The British Advertising Standards Authority agreed with complaints that a commercial for a new dating show called "Dating in the Dark" was offensive.  The council "considered the ad was unlikely to be interpreted to be light-hearted in tone and was instead likely to be seen as prejudicial against people with ginger hair." Even more, a British retailer pulled their Christmas cards which featured a read-headed kid sitting on Santa's lap beneath a banner reading "Santa loves all kids. Even ginger ones."

I would take this all very personally, but I don't have beautifully monochromatic bright red hair. Rather,  my indecisiveness can even be traced back to when I was in my mother's womb.  Apparently my DNA couldn't make a solid decision between my Cherokee, Slovak and Welsh heritage resulting in my hair color and skin tone becoming some sort of strange giant bird-like alien hybrid of  American Indian features, translucent skin and multi-colored strands of hair which include blonde, red, and chocolate brown (and now even gray).  Now that is scary.


Model and Actress Lily Cole

MEGA BLOCS VS LEGO

Cityfile - Remember those multicolored plastic heels that Balenciaga tried to pass off as art and sell for close to 5K?  Then Steve Madden knocked them off and tried to sell them for 100 bucks?  Well almost three years later, the high fashion house is suing the "Forever 21" of shoes for stealing its design.

My insight on Steve Madden and Forever 21: it probably costs the chain retailers less in lawsuits that end in mistrials than to do a Target style collaboration in which the designer is due a chunk of the change. By the time high fashion houses catch on, every trend hound on a budget owns a pair of "Mega Bloc" heels.

I'm not saying copying designs should be applauded, but rather, can you ever really stop it?  When the whole marketing of your couture fashion goods appeals to the psychology belonging and esteem, there will be people who want it and people who will give it.

If you wear a low cut shirt that shows off your cleavage, chances are, you cant pick and choose who is going to be gawking. I'm not saying that gives anyone the right to touch your boobies, but seeing yours may not stop a dude from hitting on every chic in the bar until someone agrees to goes home with the troll.

With fashion houses thinking its good for promotions to "leak" lookbooks and ad campaigns for Spring 2010 in September 2009, that only gives retail analysts enough time to figure out what's going to be the big seller, look for what Beyonce wore and send it into immediate cheap production in China...with a few minor design changes. *wink*

Isn't this lawsuit sort of like going back and starting a fight with an loser ex-boyfriend for not taking out the garbage when the two of you lived together?  It just seems like something that should end in a phone conversation that goes something like this "I did some bad sh*t, you did some bad sh*t. Lets just forget about it."

Steve Madden's shoe on the left, The original Balenciaga on the right. I predict a mistrial.

 

THIS PHOTO MAKES ME HATE MYSELF

New York Times- The crusade for utopia continues. This week, New York Times writer Tamara Parker-Hope discovers that *OMG* magazine covers are retouched. She starts her blog with this: "What is the fastest way to lose weight? Try getting a cover shoot for a magazine."

zzzzzzzzzzz...Oh, what, I'm sorry. I just fell asleep.

Can I just ask where the men are in this debate? Images of men on magazine covers Men's Health and Esquire are  retouched as well.  How about the fashion felines on the cover of "Cat Fancy."  We call my cat Angus fat all the time and he has never refused to eat after seeing a slim tabby with a shiny coat of fur.

I work in the fashion industry. I've seen Karolina Kurkova walk the runway in a swim suit. She was not skin and bones. While it is true that I do believe I saw a ray of light beam from above when she appeared, I did not go home and dye my hair blonde or consult a plastic surgeon to saw the bone of my aforementioned Indian honker.  I've spotted Elle Macpherson in the flesh.  She looks like a walking magazine cover and unless there was some invisible Photoshop bubble surrounding her as she walked down the street, she is an image of what most people find beautiful.

Women, stop hating on women.  Mothers teach your daughters that self worth is not based on what she looks like. If looking at magazines messes with your mental stability, then don't buy them.  There will always be people who are smarter, funnier, better at math, and more fashionable than you or I.

Would these ads and photos exist if some crafty editors and ad agencies weren't cracking into your insecurities and secret desires and telling you exactly what you should be?

While there is scientific theory as to what makes people attractive, focusing all energy on what you don't have is like winning the lottery and complaining about the taxes you have to pay on the windfall.

I'm not saying that I'm some sort of super balanced human. I hate my crooked teeth and I'm not immune to feeling unattractive at times.  But my features were given to me by my parents and I am what I am.  I mean, I'm hilarious! I may be the only one laughing at my jokes and reading this blog, but it keeps me amused and happy for hours. Isn't that what counts, really, just being comfortable with yourself? (or perhaps crazy)

The National Institute of Health states that one of the risk factors of developing anorexia is "Accepting society's attitudes about thinness."  I believe the key word is "accepting"  I understand that most of what we see in the media is altered to appeal to the masses. I do understand how that could be detrimental to some.

Bruce Willis rode the wing of an airplane in Die Hard. Dorothy Gale's house was lifted by a tornado and landed on a witch in " Wizard of Oz."  Harry Potter goes to Hogwarts.  Does this mean we should have a disclaimer on the bottom of the screen during the movie "Attention, Hogwarts is a fictional academy.  Harry's magic wand contains no magic."

2008 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show - Runway

 

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