Fashion Funhouse Emporium

Can You Fashionably Rock a Pair of Sweats?

Fashion Emporium Editor — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:57:52 EDT

A girl I went to high school with wrote on my Facebook wall today pleading for me to start a fashion crusade to make sweats and Snuggies fashionable. While I believe there is no hope for the blanket with sleeves, she may not have known that Alexander Wang has been on a mission for a while now to make heather gray gym pants high fashion. He started the movement, and since Wang is the "it" designer for all those downtown fashionistas, other designers followed with their own chic versions of cotton drawstring leisure wear.

Personally, I despise sweats. I don't own a pair nor do I think slapping a high end label on them makes them any more appealing. That said, I have to give the people what they want. Though, if I'm going to post about sweats, I'm doing it in style.

So I dedicate this post to Mac. Just please don't pair them with Ugg Boots. That's way more than I can handle.

Alexander Wang Sweats

Holiday Gifts for Under $25: Patterned Tights, Shiny Belts and Candy Jewels

Fashion Emporium Editor — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 00:19:14 EST

You can stuff these products in stockings for the finishing touches on your holiday shopping. Or, if you're looking for a way to do inexpensive gifts, these sparkling and shiny gifts can be tucked into some creative packaging to create a personalized gift for friends or family for not a lot of money.

The Packaging

Try places like The Container Store or even mugs or bowls local 99 cent store for pieces like these. They can be reused by the gifted the to stash jewelry or even for flowers. Sprinkle in some confetti, top off with a ribbon.

Vase & Metal Pot: Ikea

Acrylic Containers and Shredded Paper: Container Store

Christmas Confetti: Party City; Velvet Ribbon, Papermart

The Gifts

Once you've channeled your inner Martha Stewart (Don't knock Martha, I love me some Martha!) and came up with some crafty packaging, you'll need these for the stylish people on your list.

Topshop Fair Isle Wool Tights, $24.00 - Marni's wool plaid tights might not be in your holiday shopping budget, but these wool tights from Topshop will give that same preppy and warm feeling.

FULL TILT Braided Chain Bracelet, $5.99 - Give the gift of hard edged biker/rock chic. This style is still going strong-- chains, studs and leather.

ASOS Coloured Shimmer Super Skinny Belt, $8.50 - A friend of mine scolded me when I told him I didn't have any of my own belts to lend him for his photo shoot. He said "all women should have belts! Its a staple." So take his advice. Give belts for not just for belt loops, but over jackets and sweaters.

Essie nail polish, Bordeaux, $8.00 - I'm not much of a nail polish girl. Its not that I don't envy girls with long perfect nails who can add another element to their style with as seen on the runway colors. Sadly, I either chew my nails out of a life long anxious habit, or they just break. So those of you that are like me, live vicariously and give these tiny Essie polishes. I like the Bordeaux because its not quite black. Intriguing!

Alloy Leopard Scarf,$19 - For those on your list who are always late because they had "nothing to wear," give a printed scarf. Throw it over a white tee, add a blazer, jeans and boots for five minute dressing that looks well thought out.

Paper Biscuit Candy "Diamond" Ring, $4.50 - I love Etsy for jewelry! If you have the patience to weed through the weird vagina necklaces and moose shit art, then you can occasionally come across some cute inexpensive pieces. Cross your teen cousins off your list.

Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer, $5.00 - I have Burt's Bees lip products stashed in my bathroom, in my jacket pocket and in my purse. It may be all in my head, but I think it makes my lips look fuller than any expensive "plumper" ever has. Perhaps its the peppermint oil? My friend Missy said she thought their colored gloss was " too bright." This is partially true for those who like less flashy. The Merlot and Raisin don't go on the same color as they appear, but much brigher. However, Rhubarb and Peony are neutral, just enough color and will work for most skin tones. I encourage you to pick some up for your friends. While your at it, get one for yourself...and me!

Funhouse Style: What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

Fashion Emporium Editor — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 20:54:26 EST

Loyal followers, I must apologize for my absence this week.

If you were wondering where I've been, I was busy getting a beat down from a celebrity stylist who was "trying me out" as an assistant. This job didn't work out, sadly.

If you've been reading Fashion Funhouse Emporium, you may gather that I react to "crisis" by laughing at inappropriate times. Being in a closet with a stylist whose enjoys making people cry is not really my thing.

The good news is, I may have waaaay more time to blog, since I'm probably going to be black listed from ever working in this town again.

While some of the stories you've read and the movies you've watched about working in fashion are true, I have to tell you that I've worked for some very humane, sensible, sweet and talented stylists.

But those who weren't so nice inspired this Fashion Funhouse Emporium's fashion: What Ever Happened to Baby Jane

Blue Velvet Fashion Inspired by my Ultimate Designer Collaboration: David Lynch for Dior

Fashion Emporium Editor — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 08:00:00 EST

When I worked as an assistant at a fashion magazine, I proposed a question to my boss, "If you had to pick from one designer, and that is all you can wear for the rest of your life, who would that be?" For some, this is not an easy question. For me, that designer is without hesitation, John Galliano. I added the rule to the one designer forever that if a designer does more than one collection, you get access to them all. Tricky. That entitles me to Dior, Dior Couture, John Galliano and even some Givenchy. Though, it is a fantasy game. Therefore in reality, as assistant and budding stylist, I don't have the funds to drape myself in any of the above.

David Lynch directed films and television, however, are a surreal reality that I have access to. There are images from the bizarrely fantastic "Mullholland Drive," "Eraserhead," and "Blue Velvet" burned into my brain that I can never get out. Not that I want to. "Twin Peaks," anyone?

It was confirmed that David Lynch will be directing the latest installment of the "Lady Dior" web films starring Marion Cotillard, whom also played Coco Chanel in the recent bio pic "Coco Before Chanel."

Now, enjoy this Blue Velvet Gallery from Fashion Funhouse Emporium!

Emporium Style: Monopoly Fashion for Losers

Fashion Emporium Editor — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:10:04 EDT

The Monopoly World Championship was held last Thursday in Las Vegas. I don't get the infatuation with pretending to spend money on real estate I cant actually dwell in. Even the big beauty chain Sephora jumped on the bandwagon with others like Seinfeld and Reebok and came out with their own glammed up version of the board game.

Fox News announced the winner of the big Monopoly suck-fest as being 19 year old Bjorn Halvard Knappskog and reported the event in excruciatingly painful detail. (which may or may not be true given the source). Knappskog won $20,580 in real money for the title. Now go gamble that sum for real, you're a teenager in Vegas, for f*cks sake. Schmergen Blergen, Bjorn!

The losers, however, won a big fat sum of nothing dollars and zilch cents, which pretty much sums up my lifetime of playing the abusive business practice board game.

Hence, Fashion Funhouse Emporium gives you Monopoly Fashion for Losers.

Toilet Necklace, Fred Flare

When I'm forced to play this cardboard family bonanza of "fun," I just wear this necklace and remove the charm to swap out with any game piece. Why? because that's where all of my fun colored dollars go--right down the shitter.

LED Faceless Watch, 100%

I wear this faceless watch so I can't easily view how many hours of my life had been wasted shelling out fake money for fake bills. Why wear a watch at all you may ask? Simple, the time function displays when the button is pressed, which comes in handy if the game goes on to its fifth hour and I want to plot my own death by slitting my wrists with a luxury tax card. "Okay if this goes on for one more second...."

Coin Purse, Fred Flare

It's not my fault that I always lose. I blame lack of regulation and over zealous lenders. Why are you letting me buy B & O Railroad when I have barely enough cash to cover it? Duh, the only other thing I own on the entire board is Baltic Avenue! You'll only be getting my one rent by the hour motel as collateral.

Stripe Dress, Topshop

If I'm going to sit in jail through 4,000 of my turns, why not look cute while doing it?

Tee by Junk Food, Amazon

Some people buy fake Louis Vuitton, others just prefer to be more literal with dollar sign gold necklaces or cash money embellished hoodies. Consider this the Monopoly version. I don't got it, but I'm gonna flaunt it.

Funhouse Style - Sally Bowles- Film Fashion Icon Halloween Special

Fashion Emporium Editor — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 13:00:00 EDT

wigs.com

Life is a cabaret! This is Fashion Funhouse Emporium's third lay out of fashion icons of film to inspire your Halloween costume creativity: Sally Bowles of Cabaret! If you're the type who uses Halloween as an excuse to get a little sexy, then here's your costume inspired by the one and only Liza Minnelli. Did you know she did her own hair and make-up for this film?

Funhouse Style: Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb... Fashion of Dr. Strangelove

Fashion Emporium Editor — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 10:00:00 EDT

This is Fashion Funhouse Emporium's third installment of style inspired by "The Funniest Movies Ever Made." "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb," is a dark comedy which features an insane general who instigates a path to nuclear holocaust. Alas, a war room full of generals and politicians have to try and stop it. Get it or not, "Dr. Strangelove" is number 3 on the both the Associated Content and American Film Institute's list of best comedies.

Funhouse Style: Have... a Good Time... all the Time - This is Spinal Tap Fashion

Fashion Emporium Editor — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 10:00:00 EDT

Time for Metal Style! The world's loudest band is followed by documentarian Marti DeBergi in "This is Spinal Tap". Our second installment of looks inspired by the "Funniest Movies of All Time." The film is number 11 on the Associated Content's List. Not 10, but 11.