Photo: Calvin Klein
Women do it. (Well, I don't...just so you know.) There are all sorts of creations and contraptions to make mammaries look "fuller" like water bras, silicone inserts, or chicken cutlets as we industry insiders call them, and even ladies jeans that maximize the bootius maximus.
So isn't it in all fairness that Body by Calvin Klein jeans for men, as the company says, have a "body-defining fit for an enhanced profile." In other words, they let dudes rock out with their coc...um, gives them a little help in the crotch area.
But do women really ever stare down below for any sort of hint of a man's size? I asked straight boys if they would wear this new innovation in denim (and was really just prying to find out if they really think chicks check that out.) A friend named Mike said "I don't think jeans are supposed to show an outline of that region?" When I asked my straight photographer friend if he thought these pants were more for gay men he said " or hipsters with complexes about their penis sizes."
I asked a British guy if the men of England would be more into this sort of crotch flashery. "No! That's ridiculous." he said. I guess this debunks my theory that European men are more into showing their stuff.
I was going to ask an old dude what he thought, but couldn't muster up the courage to ask my dad. I guess that point of view on penis padding will remain a mystery in this investigation.
My gay friend thinks this tactic could save some humilitaiton, "I won't have to be embarrassed when my date's inaugural 3rd base grope turns out to be my gym socks."
So fellas, if you wont admit that you've all thought about it, or if you're embarrassed to admit you have a small problem, or if you just think bigger is better, you can get these designer dic er, crotch enhancing pants at Calvin Klein for $79.50. Just remember, stuffed-in socks can fall out of place.
