Fashion Funhouse Emporium

I'm freaking out too! *scratch, itch** I learned this news on the sentence long social networking site because I haven't been keeping up on my reading. Ive been working. On jobs. Where I touch clothes. Touch clothes that very well may have been at Elle just hours before they reached us.

I immediately did a Google Search. To my dismay, its true says The Cut blog.

It's recently been reported that the Empire State building has gotten a dose of blood eating beetles as well. Can we finally blame those damn dirty tourists? *is this a bite mark?*

Really? At Elle Magazine? Do these bed bugs know they are not "Chanel approved celebrities?"

My crusty punk friend who lives in the lower east side has a theory: "They don't bother with us anymore. They've moved on to more expensive tastes.  Why gnaw on some dirty dudes when they can ransack a clean Park Avenue apartment?"

Could this be true? Have bed bugs developed a taste for designer 1000 thread count sheets? Do they want to meet Julia Roberts or do they too want to join the cult of  Eat, Pray, Love...on your blood! Do they prefer the fine wool of a Louis Vuitton suit?  The vermin should know, if you've been reading my posts, that big Louie doesn't like bugs and they very well may have a lawsuit on thier tiny, lanky hairy limbs.

My question is, though, why are all the fashion blogs saying "Ew, this store or publication has cooties!" instead of giving some viable information on how NOT to spread cooties? If there is one true stereotype about me, I am a snobby city girl who hates bugs. Except lady bugs. But I wont touch them.

So fashion people, your homework assignment is to read this document: Bed Bug Fact Sheet, Preventing and Getting rid of bed bugs. Because I don't want to be handling couture with miniature creatures, unless they specifically were designed as such. Ew.