Back before I became the huge, fantastic success that I am today (depending how one looks at it) I used to be a nanny. I thought one mother that I worked for was out of her mind for letting her two year old gobble up an entire peppermint flavored stick of Burt's Bees Lip Balm.
Im watching the kid chomp, chomp chomp, swallow...."Uh, should she be eating that?" I asked. Mom replied, "Oh, its fine. Its all natural. She likes the mint, but I only let her eat one tube every so often."
Little did I know, grown ladies, that we are being encouraged to eat our gloss. That's right. Check out all of these lip products that claim it's in your best interest to lick your lips, or even eat a stick or two.
LaRocca Skincare’s Shield Multi-Active Natural Lip Balm claims this lip product "is specifically formulated to deeply moisturize and nourish the skin while helping in protecting against germs and bacteria." No swine flu on these lips! The description goes on to say "Camu Camu contains powerful phytochemicals with .... helps to strengthen the immune system, maintain healthy gums, eyes and skin and helps against herpes." Wait, What? Herpes? Ewwww!
Photo: Sephora
Two Faced FUZE Slenderize Guilt Free Lip Gloss is a collaboration with the Fuze drinks you find in your local Seven Eleven. This miracle in a tube's description says its "A super shiny lip gloss inspired by Fuze energy drinks that energizes and slenderizes." Interpret that how you want...is it the drink or the gloss that makes you skinny? I'm going with this --who knew all I need to do to stay skinny is gloss my lips!
Photo: 2 Love My Lips
2 Love My Lips Seductive Mint Plumping Gloss - A spiked-drink detector and a breath freshner! The company says "The drug testing kit is a simple pink taper that has been treated to detect the common street drugs of GHB and Ketamine, two widely available substances known to be used in bar and clubs." You should know that it doesn't detect Rohypnol. First, is it a bit creepy that its called "seductive mint plumping gloss" while being a date rape drug detective at the same time? Second, wow, call me naive, but I had no idea there were so many sleazebuckets putting pills in drinks that this lip gloss kit is necessary. I am truly more frightened than usual. And that's bad.
Photo:Urban Decay
Urban Decay Pocket Rocket Lip Gloss - No, it's not what I thought it was either, as the name suggests. Good thing, that could be quite unsanitary. What this throw back to the ol' naked lady fountain pen does do besides strip down, is, according to the site: "Need to lure a real man? Give the tube a rub to release pheromones into the air! Undetectable to the smell, pheromones enhance mood and sexual attraction. Weirder, check out the picture of Julio the amatuer chef.
