I laughed. I cried. I even gagged.
Sometimes just because something exists, doesn't mean it should be made into accessories.
This is Fashion Funhouse Emporium's "jewelry that made me laugh and/or gag uncontrollably, partly out of awkwardness, and then out of sheer immaturity."
VulvaLoveLovely (NSFW- I repeat, not safe for work!) I'm not posting a picture of this jewelry collection because of the obvious, and I don't want to see a stranger's snooby dooby doo every time I log on to my blog.
This designer offers a handmade replica of your "Noni Mitchell" if you take a picture and send it to her. If you're too shy to snap a low angle picture of your poon, then feel free to send the designer a description via email. No. Seriously, "In your description please include: The shape of your inner and outer labia..."
Listen, If I wanted the whole world to see my stuff, I'd go pantless. But,that's just me.
I suppose if you've been inspired by the "Vagina Monologues" and feel the need to get loud and proud about your pudenda, then head on over to Etsy and order.
Photo: Polly Van der Glas
Polly Van der Glas is an Australian designer who uses old molars of some people you don't know as glistening gems. Okay, maybe they're not quite glistening, in fact a few of these human tooth necklaces look like they have a bit of fossilized Twinkie stuck in the crevices. But if you wanna go all "Apocalypes Now" with out cutting off human ears, then teeth are your best option.
Photo: Etsy
Moose Poop Doo Doo Nugget - I didn't make that up. That is how this product is listed. You know that saying "you can't shine sh*t?" Well, you totally can. Some guy in Maine did it and made it into a necklace. Animal Feces. Around your neck.
Turns out this is not some random joke.
Apparently in Talkeetna, Alaska there is an "annual Moose Dropping Festival that celebrates moose nuggets. The most unusual event during this festival is the dropping of a thousand moose nuggets from a hot-air balloon onto the crowd below."
They never say exactly why they are dropping moose deuce all over people.
Sarah Palin, remember that beauty endorsement you were looking for? Its not lipstick, but its jewelry. What do you say?
